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| tomorrow morning i am leaving. i already feel like this is one of the most difficult things i've had to do and i don't think it's even really hit me yet what i'm doing. my whole life is here. i haven't lived in south carolina for five and a half years, and in that time i have become someone completely different than what i was when i came to nashville for school. the catalyst, the cause, the force of that change has been my friends. i don't think any of you readers really know what my life was like before i came to nashville, but it was not the kind of life i have here at all. i have deep friendships and meaningful relationships with people. i have made hopefully life-long friends, and that was something i never had before school and life in nashville. the past week or so, as i have gone around trying to see all my friends before i left, i have realized how much each of my friends means to me. as i've talked to each person and remembered the good times we had, the first time i met them and then things we did together, i've come to deeply understand how much i am a product of the people around me. not really the people i've chosen to surround myself with, because i don't feel like i had much to do with becoming friends with people, but the people that for some reason or another saw something in me they liked. something in me they felt comfortable with. something in me they believed in. it would take me too much space to list everyone here in nashville that i love so much, and i know i'd forget someone, so a blanket statement will have to do:
i love all of you so much. anything i am is because of your influence on my life, and i think the reason i am comfortable with myself now is that you are all such good, genuine, true people. you have inspired me to try for great things, and i owe everything to you. this move away from you all is devastating because i know how much i'm going to miss out on. i know i'm going to miss sitting on my back porch and talking with the guys. i'm going to miss seeing movies with people who really enjoy good movies. i'm going to miss just sitting in the house with my roommates watching a movie like we did tonight. i'm going to miss so much and i'm going to miss you all desperately. if there is good in me, if there is something you like in me, it's because of you all.
with that said, this is my last entry in this diary/journal/blog/thing. paulvarjak was a nashville thing and i am leaving him here. i am starting a new xanga which will be about me in south carolina. me trying to get into graduate school. me hopefully learning a lot in my classes. me trying to preach sustainability and good design to the masses. i feel like i am a part of a family of fantastic people who will stay in nashville after i'm gone. i am a brother to you all. the new xanga name is brotherjoshua, and it can be found here. thank you all so much for reading this and for being such a big part of my life these last few years. | | |
| i took a practice test for the gre exam and apparently i've forgotten every single bit of math i learned since fifth grade. how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide fractions? don't remember. angles and geometry and stuff? nope, can't recall it. adding and subtracting whole positive numbers? i'm pretty solid on that. i'm going to need some serious math help once i get to south carolina. i'm probably going to take the test on january 6th so i've gotta learn that math stuff fast. i also need to brush up on my verbal skills, although those are better at this point than my math skills. numbers are dumb anyway. when am i ever going to need numbers if i'm doing architecture? architecture is just, like, drawing pictures and stuff.
christmas party tomorrow night. also going-away-party but i don't like to think about that. i really hope i get into grad school. | | |
| today is the 10th. since today is almost over and i'm leaving the morning of the 21st, i have ten more days left here. this is going to be one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. plus add to that the fact that every day i get more worried (probably unnecessarily) that i won't make it in to grad school. | | |
| well, cool, u.s. soccer could have hired klinsmann but the head of the federation decided he didn't want to give klinsmann total control over the team or pay the money klinsmann wanted. and instead of klinsmann, they hire an mls coach who they may get rid of in six months when they say they're going to start the whole coach search over again. of course, by that time it'll be too late to really get anyone because it's only 3 years until the next world cup and most teams have hired all the good coaches already.
the u.s. needed to hire klinsmann and they needed to do it back in october or november. if he wants total control over the team, you give it to him. you give him whatever amount of money he wants. you give him absolutely everything he wants to get him as the coach. he coached a relatively lackluster (before the world cup, at least) german side to third place in the tournament. he was exactly what the u.s. needed and the idiots at the u.s. federation let him slip away because they didn't want to give him the money or control he deserves. he could have turned the u.s. team around but instead we have another american coach who apparently is only going to get us through a few friendly matches before the federation starts the coaching search over again. are you kidding me? i'm so angry about this right now. | | |
| my sister has an imdb site: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2396439/
so, that's the coolest thing i've seen in a while. now it's just a matter of time until she gets me a meeting with natalie portman, who will then marry me. | | |
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